mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
