I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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