8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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