Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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