So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
