I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize