you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
