I'm going to jail i love you
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
