1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
