its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
