After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
