and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
