I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
