My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
