No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Randomize
