What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
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