After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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