Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
