is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
