you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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