guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
