Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Houston, we have a squirter
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
