its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
