Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
