if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
