Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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