Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
