you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
