I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
