I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
