I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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