I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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