I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
