just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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