Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
