is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
