i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
