i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She's the barista slut.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
