He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
