ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
