I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
