I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Your cock deserves a montage
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
