I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
