If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
