You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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