remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
It's like God shit irony all over that family
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
