May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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