I look better un-naked...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
