It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
