I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
