i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
