Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
