i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
