Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
