Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
