he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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