is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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