Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I didn't notice because vodka
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Dicks are not precious.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
