Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
