1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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