I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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