Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Randomize
