Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i dont even know how to be here
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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