Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
