Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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