its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
