I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
