i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
