We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
