high people should be assigned attendants
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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