Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I believe in your delicious
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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