I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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