OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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