Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
