don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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