what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
