If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
