she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
