Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
