YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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