Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
